Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
