I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
