yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
