So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
