i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
