She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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