You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
