everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
