We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
