you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
