Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want nice things and good sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
