? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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