we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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