Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
