Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Four minutes until I can fart!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
