her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
