Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
