okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
