omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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