The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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