dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
