Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
