i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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