If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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