why didn't you poke me back
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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