so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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