Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
