Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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