The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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