dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
