oh god the rape fog is back!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
