Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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