Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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