i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
