i love accidental penises.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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