Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
