Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
