So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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