White coat. Heels.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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