Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
