worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
