Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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