sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
