my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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