I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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