tell your sister to shave her snatch
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
