my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
