Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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