covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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