I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
