I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
