I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
