holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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